My wisdom for today is more of a story of something that I think makes perfect sense, wisdom hiding in another form perhaps.
Walking through my son's school yard, I noticed a bench on the pavement with a large colourful circle painted around it. I asked my son if this was the only place to sit in the play yard. He said "no, that's the buddy bench, when someone feels lonely or has no one to play with, they sit there until someone asks them to come play." WOW, amazing I said. I asked him if he had ever used the bench?
He said, yes he had, when he was new to the school & didn't know anyone, then someone came & asked me to play. "It made me happy, & now when I see someone sitting there, I ask them to come play with me."
Do you know of any buddy benches in your kid's school yards?
Every school I've taught in has had something similar. It's not always a bench - one school has a lollipop sign, another has a picture painted on the wall - but the idea is the same.
ReplyDeleteIf the idea conveys the message whether through a bench or lollipop, that's a good thing. We need to do more but alas it must wait until COVID is a thing of the past :(
DeleteHaving just come to you from reading Cup of Jo (and the comments in relation to the latest mass shooting in Boulder, Colorado), the simplicity of this story has made me tearful.
ReplyDeleteI had this post ready before the shootings in Boulder, CO. I've read Cup of Jo's article ... indeed it seems to be a season of tears now :( Sending you a hug
DeleteWe had a buddy bench at our school, too. Not used this past year, because of restrictions (kids had to stay within their own cohorts). -Jenn
ReplyDeleteah yes COVID, there's another reason to be sad about the restrictions - more loneliness for everyone, at every age.
DeleteI've heard of this practice but never seen it in real life. Lovely idea.
ReplyDeleteIt's an idea that is ripe for our time, but do we have the strength of our society to make it work. Right now when we see leaders bullying on social media & receive attention for it, it makes me wonder about our readiness for such an idea.
DeleteI don't know about the answer to the bench in the kids' schools, but I have heard of the concept before.
ReplyDeleteI can see some group implementing, then requiring teachers to monitor it. Maybe more needs to be done at home first, then the classroom, then in the world but first adults need to model the behaviour ... IMO
DeleteHow lovely ... We ought to have these for grown-ups in shopping centres, parks etc - although I'm thinking it must take a lot of courage for a little one to choose to sit on the bench and hope someone comes. And perhaps even more for an adult ...
ReplyDeleteI was thinking the exact same thing Alexa. Although some of my caution about the idea makes me worry it makes people more of a target, especially those already vulnerable at either end of the age scale.
Delete|I've not heard of this before but what a good idea.
ReplyDeleteI've not seen a buddy bench at any of our 3 schools in the village. I am flipping & flopping on the idea, while I think the concept is great, the implementation has many risks associated with it. I just wish we lived during a kinder time - social media shows us that people can be cruel.
DeleteI've never heard of it. Must admit I have mixed emotions about the concept. Looking back, I think I would have found it difficult to put myself on the buddy bench - certainly repeatedly.
ReplyDeleteMy school did not have but I doubt I would have had the courage to sit on the buddy bench. I am not sure what I think of the idea, I flip back & forth on it.
DeleteMy first instinct on reading was horror - I could just imagine being the kid who went on the bench day after day, teachers being kind, standing up for me, all the misfits getting lumped together, then getting jeered at by cool kids on the way home. But if this is being used by so many schools maybe I'm missing something. Can only say I felt different enough as a child, without drawing attention to the fact.
DeleteI agree with you Lady Ella. Buddy Benches would have to be well managed & at least a class about the purpose & what to do in each school. Children can be very cruel (is it our nature?). I wouldn't have had to wait for other kids, one of my own older sisters would have been first in the jeering ... I'll say no more.
DeleteI asked my daughter if any of the schools she attended had a buddy bench or similar and she said no. She also said that, in the schools she attended, that would have led to the other kids laughing at the kid on the bench (she was bullied at school and would know).
ReplyDeleteI am surprised that even in this day & age bullying is such a problem in the schools, with all the courses & info. Kids can be cruel little beasts.
DeleteThat is one fabulous story! Every school yard should have a bench like that!
ReplyDeleteMy hope & prayer is that such a bench would work because I think it's a lovely concept. Loneliness is such a rampant feeling for every age group at the moment, which given all the social media ways of connecting surprises me, but then I think look at all the bullying online, so no I'm not surprised.
DeleteI love this idea, every school should do this!
ReplyDeleteI do like the concept of the buddy benches & for any age group. I just think as a society we have a lot of work to do first.
DeleteWe could use buddy benches at schools, and lots of other places at well. Great story.
ReplyDeleteAgreed Susanne. I wonder if starting a buddy bench program at churches, at the library with accompanying books & leaflets to educate us on kindness ...
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