Monday, March 15, 2021

Me On A Monday - March 15th

 Good Morning, I hope everyone is well.

Today I am reflecting on the last year, as last week was a time of  many one year pandemic & COVID anniversaries.  

What a year, is in no way a small statement.

Thank you all for being company over this last year. Thanks for sharing how you feel, thanks for book recommendations, thanks for inspiring with crafts & projects, thank you for sharing recipes - OMG to beer bread.  Thanks for not hoarding toilet paper.

This is a longer read than normal.  I understand if you skip but if you do read, thank you.  

What I reminisce about is my experience & not necessarily the experience, feelings or thoughts of other Canadians, other Ontarians or other villagers.  I know my emotions & thoughts over the last year  have been at times, an out of control rollercoaster ride.  While I did not purchase the ticket for this COVID ride, I have been strapped in like everyone else & sent around & around at neck breaking speed.   

When I look back at 2020's Daytimer & Gratitude Journal, I see COVID reference entries in early January, especially with reference to my own "great sickness" of which I wrote about, seemingly quite a bit.  The biggest notation changes came about early March & then a definite directional change on March 11th with The W.H.O. announced coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2) aka COVID-19  as a world wide pandemic.  On Friday March 13th, Ontario went into the first lockdown & borders started to close & it was a full moon!  As I write this, the region I live in is in another lockdown, the third I believe, I've lost count, but unlikely to be the last.

Overnight, FaceBook, Twitter & Instagram had created experts in a new & developing virus/disease, while the medical & scientific sites were slower to come online.  Out of this, the battle cry went up as Facts Nor Fear.  F/B is now developing an ever growing number of vaccine experts.  At first I did succumb to the fear & anxiety, although eventually I sifted out what online sites I trust to give scientific & medical facts & only check in with those 3-4 times a week.  Too much endless information can lead to doom scrolling & anxiety.

Early in March every world leader, every political group had to decide how best to protect their people, their resources, their economy.  Oh the economy!  Some leaders have come out as heroes, some as villains.  Although, in my opinion, when it comes down to it, the responsibility clearly lay at our own individual feet. Some kicked the sound medical advice aside, some trampled over it.  Locally, I am surprised that the elected representatives have been fairly quiet & it's our county's Chief Medical Officer & assistant that have been most vocal. Probably a good thing.

Mr Man & I have been very observant of the rules & adhered to all lockdown rules.  We take these measures as serious & Mr Man often quotes something from Star Trek's Mr Spock "the needs of the many out weigh the needs of the one" ... we stay home, we don't gather, we mask up & of course we wash our hands often.  Curbside pick ups are the norm for us now.  In the last year there have been very few, count on one hand, the number of in person shopping we have done.  Even for Christmas shopping, it was online or do without.  

And speaking of masks, I recorded the day in March when Mr Man & I first started wearing a mask when going out of the house.  We have quite a wardrobe of masks now & wearing one of 3 layer cotton with filter, feels almost normal.  We also have a face shield to wear with the mask if we feel that extra layer of protection is required. Not once did we question if our civil liabilities were in jeopardy. We see this as civil responsibility. 

I still touch my face too much.

There are a few things I miss, such as freely wandering the library, attending in person church services, seeing friends for tea, giving & receiving hugs of hello & goodbye.  I missed the ability to celebrate one of my friend's wedding - there was no opportunity for the  wearing of a frothy dress while sipping & nibbling on a sunny patio.  We could not gather to comfort when we lost a family member to COVID-19.  At times it feels like a lot of sacrifice to life as we knew it.  As many of you know, we are not part of a close family, & it's almost normal for us to go long periods of not connecting but I know for many of you that has been one of the greatest hardships of this pandemic, not being able to see your family as often & I feel for you.

We have learnt many lessons about ourselves during this last year.  We found out just how much of a homebody we both are.  We give thanks that we live in a house, with large yard & that we have remained good friends with the companionship of two wonderful cats. Our individual hobbies, have been sanity life savers; me with crafting & him with astronomy.  We were both able to work from home; we learnt about Zoom for socializing, learning & working.  I  have been on an up & down journey about planning & preparing every meal we have eaten since March 2020.  Right now I'm excited trying new to us recipes.

Through Zoom travel, we learnt lots about the world we live in, locally & on the grand scale. We have seen how resourceful some businesses & some people are; we learnt how resilient some are & are continually surprised at who isn't. We have seen great generosity, compassion & caring, but we have seen a lot of selfishness.  We saw heroes rise from unlikely sources - I speak of many WWII seniors that rose brilliantly all over the world to inspire the younger generations.  They knew sacrifice.

We have shared in the shame of discovering how horribly many of our seniors were being treated in Long Term Care (LTC) facilities & how badly many were managed. When the virus swept through these homes, so many died. When reading the daily stats of those lost, I tried to remember that these numbers aren't just a graph, but lives.    People who are loved, active members of their families & communities, people who have given much, people who still had so much living to do.  I hope we learn there is a better way to caring for our aged.  On this front I hope there is no return to "normal".

We learnt which jobs were really necessary, which are usually the lowest paid jobs, such as our grocery store workers.  We learnt how fortunate & blessed we are to live in a country with mostly good & free healthcare; we learnt that we need to revaluate who we hold up as true heroes, who the real influencers are.  It is the nurses, doctors, first responders, PSWs, teachers, librarians .  It's them we need, not the manufactured celebrities.

We learnt a whole bunch of new words & expressions: pandemic, COVIDIOT, flattening the curve, Coronacoaster, the wild ride of life I spoke of earlier, IFR (infection fatality rate), lockdown, spike T-cells, PCR Testing (polymerase chain reaction), curbside pick up, PPE ... I could go on & on.

In my own memory keeping, I refer to this Global Pandemic as The Great Pause & wonder what we will take forward with us.  I am switching from "returning to normal"  to the phrase "returning to the familiar" .  But no matter what we call it, it's unlikely that any freeing of movement will take place until the majority of any & every population are vaccinated.  

So, until I can roll up my sleeve for a vaccine, (probably summer time),  I will continue to mask up, socially distance & go out only if necessary & give daily thanks for all my many blessings.

Let's all be an APOCALCOVIDOPTIMIST,  A person who feels hopeful about life after COVID-19



26 comments:

  1. A brilliant post - that really does sum it up and I love the new word in your final sentence! In some ways this year has dragged on and on but in others it has flown by. There are still days when I feel less myself than others, when I long to socialise and invite people into my home but then I think, not long now, slow and steady wins the race.

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    1. Thanks Deb. I really tried not to rant. I felt it yesterday when Ontario's new case numbers continue to rise. Really people, what's not to understand, COVID spreads person to person ... oops a rant starting. It has certainly been a year of testing each & every one of us. We have been told by several medical experts, a return to familiar is still a ways off, years even - our political leaders tell us to hope for a return to a familiar Christmas!

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  2. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this great post. Slow and steady will win the day, I believe. I've been so grateful for our wonderful blogging community over this past year - your strength and support has helped beyond measure. :)

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    1. Thanks Ruth. I agree the blogging communities have been such a source of comfort, fun & new to me knowledge. Even with vaccines coming on quickly, medical advice is to maintain mask wearing & social/physical distancing for sometime to come. I do not imagine travel outside of ones own country will be freely taken much before 2022.

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  3. Good essay. Your experience and mine are not too dissimilar although you have recorded and analyzed yours so much better. We haven't had to give up much, the main thing being time with the grandkids, but we have had some time with them. Fortunately, Sue and I get along and tend to be homebodies anyway. If this is as bad as our trials get, it isn't too bad at all.

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    1. Thank you. We both feel we haven't had to endure lockdown as bad as those in the highrise condos or tightly packed in cities - we consider these blessings. Much of what I have given up is the noise surrounding my days. I hope we have all come to appreciate the really truly important parts of life & it is our connections nor our things (IMO).

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  4. A wonderful post! I'm in the process of doing something similar in my journal. I love your analogy of the roller coaster, and agree with you on the need to maintain our good practices. I was interested that you noted that you still touch your face too often. That was a TERRIBLE habit of mine, and one that went back years. I've nearly broken it now, and I have COVID to thank for it. You and Mr. Man have been even better about isolating than we have, and we're among the strictest of our friends. I got my second vaccination last week, so the light is beginning to appear at the end of the tunnel---at least for a few returns to normalcy. Like you, I don't expect to ever go back to the way things were before, and I think mask wearing will go on for many months ahead. Both of my kids are now eligible for vaccines, and both have had their first shots. Their spouses will get their first by the end of the month. It's a huge relief to have survived this without serious consequences.

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    1. My face touching is not as bad as a year ago & boy was I surprised of how touching went on! I think because we are both introverts, social distancing was not hard to achieve & maintain & thankfully of our small circle of friends, they were also really good at lockdown regulations. The only friend that wasn't, lives in another province, so did not challenge our friendship, but I must admit her stance against everything surprised & sadden me. Yeah to your kids getting their first jabs. In Ontario the vaccine roll out is a bit of a mess, although our region is keeping fairly strict to age groupings. As more vaccines from Pfizer & Moderna arrive in the coming weeks, I am sure the speed of getting through the groups first jabs will pick up.

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  5. I appreciate your Star Trek reference. I saw a meme with that quote in my FB memories from a year ago today. Along with "Beware the Ides of March". It's been a rough year. We've been abiding by the rules here, too, figuring it's the least we can do. I recently bought face shields but haven't worn one yet.

    I agree with you that "normal" isn't something we should necessarily return to. Surely we can do better than that. Our healthcare system here, for example... That we can consider our current system acceptable is deeply disappointing. The rich get richer, while so many go bankrupt just trying to get basic medical needs met. We count ourselves fortunate to have access to care, but we think access to basic health care should be a right.

    I've had my first vaccine shot. Hoorah!

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    1. I am glad to hear you got your first shot of the vaccine. I am most thankful for our healthcare, while not perfect, at least no one worries about whether they can afford care or not. I do find a mask & shield a little too closing in, but both times I've needed, it was a short time, so I survived (as I knew I would).

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  6. Wonderful post, MaryLou. You echoed many of my thoughts exactly. I am also an introvert and really haven't minded (not too much anyway) being isolated. Zoom and Skype have helped me stay connected to family and friends. I wonder if I will ever go back to the rather frenetic activity of life before COVID!

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    1. Thank you Chris. I am hoping that many of us do take a close look at the BC (before COVID) life so that as we move to AC (After COVID) what we take forward is the best of us.

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  7. Such a thoughtful and informative post ... If I had to guess a year ago about what was ahead, I would not have been anywhere near close. I think 'easing out of lockdown' is going to be a slow process for me; I am so used to avoiding people physically when out walking, and am hardly ever in a shop. I wear two masks now (that's six layers!): a disposable one with a three-layer cotton one on top that fastens tightly. Right now, I'd love to see close family members and so grateful for blogging and online connections and friendships - but am unsure how I will feel as things loosen up ...

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    1. Thanks Alexa. I do wonder if many of us will have to re-learn our social skills (col). When I'm able to get out for a walk I try to go at times likely to have less people out - the neighbourhood dog walkers all seem to have a schedule.

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  8. Oh - I wrote a long response & it looks like it didn't publish.:( Anyway, this is a FABULOUS summary of the year and the thoughts and feelings many of us have shared!

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    1. I did not see any other comment from you Melissa :( Technology!
      Thanks, I think world wide many have felt similar, it has been a shared experience for us, something that hasn't happened in a long time. Maybe this is the good out of the mess.

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    2. P.S. Thank you for the lovely happy mail card - what a beautiful treasure to find in the mailbox today. :)

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    3. Good, I'm glad to read it has arrived & maybe brought you a little cheer. :)

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  9. I enjoyed reading your post. It really has been a rollercoaster year, hasn't it?

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    1. Thanks Bless. I hope never to have this mutually shared ride again - let's hope no more world wide pandemics or any pandemic locally - let's hope that is the major take away - how to contain if not stop.

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  10. Great post! Much as I have disliked the lockdowns and restrictions I have coped well with the isolation and think that my experience has been far easier than it has been for so many people. I think the easing of lockdown and a return to whatever our future free lives will look like will take longer than we are led to believe it will.

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    1. Thank you Eileen. I agree a return less restriction will be slow with probably a few steps back before a real going forward. I know for many there have been real hardships caused by this pandemic & I try to remember how blessed I've been.

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  11. I agree that the responsibility for how to behave lay and lies fundamentally at the individual's feet. I have been amazed by the attitude of some - you'd think the danger posed, if not to self, then to loved ones, would have been enough incentive. Are people more stupid or selfish? I have often wondered.

    You know how we tackled Christmas and for us it was everything to be in the same room. I was glad I had some small gifts already put aside to give, but it was a pared back Christmas on that front, and nobody minded in the slightest.

    All in all, it is funny to think how fast we have all adapted. Masks came to seem very normal very fast, and although I have been affected by the blandness of life, and felt let down by people I thought were friends, I think I have coped well on the whole, probably because I believe in the required measures and am by nature fairly introverted. That said, I have never considered myself a hugger but having gone over a year now without physical contact does seem totally unnatural. There have been moments when I've yearned for closeness.

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    1. You & I have often shared similar feelings about the behaviour of others. I recently read an article written by an Australian now living in Canada talking about the difference between Canada's & Australia's response to the pandemic. She talked at great length about Canada's niceness actually getting in the way of appropriately dealing with the pandemic. I need to sit with that for a few days. I'm not an all out hugger, I'll hug my friends but there are some at church who hug without relationship & it makes me uncomfortable.

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  12. Thank you for such a wonderful post. I read it all the way to the end and every word you wrote could have been my own thoughts and emotions. You and Mr Man are very much like me and hubby.
    We will get through this and back to some kind of familiar and like you we are not in any rush to launch ourselves back into the mix. We are happy to wait until it is totally safe to do so. x

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    1. Thank you, it always reassures me to know there are others out there that feel as I do & have dealt with the whole pandemic with the same attitude. I am still having days or moments of despair & then moments of great enthusiasm, I think the winter can take some of that responsibility.

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